I’m Happy In Doing So

Today is the first day that I can officially say that I feel happy. I feel like I’ve gone back in time and living the “teenage years” (which I started in my early 20s) all over again but better this time around.

I’m no longer afraid or ashamed of who I am and to do the things that I believe are right for me to do.

I’ve fully accepted myself as who I am and just taking each day as they come.

No expectations. Just living each moment as I no longer count the hours.

Every minute just seems to drift through to the next without announcing its arrival and departure which happen both simultaneously and silently.

The ever presence of time and the continual passage of age.

As if I’m showing signs of aging all over my body and inside and I’m completely unaware as I’m so close to the subject; emotionally and literally. I am the subject.

Every interest I have; new and old. Every decision I make. It shows aging. It shows learning and growth. It shows maturing from experience.

Life is strange and yet I want to keep it. But in order to keep it forever, I first have to give it up.

And I’m happy in doing so.

✨ Nadine