Week 2: Experiencing God
Looking to God
It’s week 2 of my online Bible study group. Here are some of the things I took away from the second week.
My Thoughts:
I realised by day 2, just how much I have to battle against my own desires in order to even be willing to ask God what it is that He’s doing so I can join Him. Like always, half of me wants to join Him and knows that I should want this, but the other half really doesn’t want to. That is the daily battle of any devoted Christian; to set aside temporary pleasure for the greater purpose.
Day 4 was all about hearing God’s voice. I was reminded that God uniquely communicates with each individual. He speaks to everyone uniquely and that makes sense when you think about all the different relationships and interactions you have with the people in your life and around you. I talk differently with my parents than with my close friends, and differently with people I’m meeting for the first time etc. Some of us have our own lingo, special handshakes and ways of interacting with each other. I think this is a really beautiful thing and makes me happy to know that the Creator of everything doesn’t treat us all exactly the same. He and I can have our own way of talking that’s special just like my close friends and family.
This realisation reminded me straight away of the 10 virgins spoken about in Matthew. How each of them had their oil and once it was time to go, the 5 asked if they could share but was told to buy instead lest there not be enough oil for all of them.
The oil represents the Holy Spirit and it made me realise how we may have a particular experience, but I can’t use that experience and make it someone else’s. They have their own experiences, but I can’t say that it was also mine. It’s the same with any relationship in your life. Introducing my siblings to someone doesn’t automatically make them their siblings and so forth. I’m sure you get the gist.
It’s a truly beautiful thing and God is the one who desires this kind of relationship first before me. He’s the one who pursues me and it’s up to me whether I want to get to know Him or not. He doesn’t force me, but when I accept Him into my life and begin to get to know Him, the more I know I can depend on Him for all things and that He truly loves me and teaches me the true definition of the word Love.
Another thing I’ve been learning through this time is discipline. I'm the kind of person who if I stop doing something once or twice, it might be hard for me to get back into it because I’m truly not wired that way to follow the same routine for a certain period of time, lest I get bored or start regretting all my decisions.
This is something I have to think about because I know daily devotions, prayer and Bible study (as well as sharing God’s love with others) should be a daily thing. To grow in a relationship with someone, speaking to them once or twice a year is not really going to get you anywhere fast, if at all. But being rigid in my faith is not something I can do, so I’m still trying to find ways of doing this study each day that doesn’t feel like I’m forcing myself. I don’t want to lose the growth that I’ve been gaining each week or the momentum.
I’m hoping that the closer I get to God, the more excited I will be to come into His presence. Relationship building shouldn’t be a chore and I know it only feels that way sometimes because unfortunately in this sinful body I currently have, reaching out to God is not natural anymore. This is why I’m even more grateful that He always reaches out first because all I have to do is reach out to His outstretched hand or open up the door that He’s knocking on. He’s sent the Holy Spirit to help me in this battle against self.
The Meeting:
This week’s meeting gave me a lot of food for thought and personal encouragement. It definitely opened my eyes to seeing how God has been working around me and the adjustments I made in order to follow Him where He was leading.
Starting this group was His idea. I didn’t feel ready (and still don’t) and wonder why I am the one leading it. Each meeting I pray and ask God to lead and show me what to do because I have no idea and yet, each meeting goes smoothly and a lot of interesting insights are shared.
So many challenges have presented themselves, but I still know that this is where God is working and maybe my own expected outcomes are not even the areas that He was working in anyway.
Each day I wonder if I should stop, especially when I don’t get any responses from people in the group or not as many show up to the meetings that I would like.
Maybe, it’s not about the numbers but about my personal surrender and obedience. Maybe not a lot are ready for this specific journey but the few that do show up or message back. I started to look at the work He was doing in me instead of what I hoped would come from doing this study group and that really changed my mindset.
It hasn’t been an easy road for me doing this but I know that if I stay disciplined, I will see more and more fruits growing. I know that God is working and drawing me closer to Him. That is a beautiful thing in itself.
✨ Nadine